Day Twenty-Four

Tobi (4), Grama Great, Troy (1), and me (3)

My sister Tobi and me.

The Pursuit of Joy

When I was in Ethiopia in 2008 with Canadian Humanitarian, we visited a rock quarry in what was once a picturesque valley. The quarry, situated on the outskirts of Addis Ababa, was grey, and dusty. Just beyond the edges of the cavernous gully, sprung evergreen trees flanking a lazy brown creek. Across the creek a donkey grazed on lanky grasses in a large pasture. 

Years earlier, residents in an inner city Addis Ababa slum awoke to the sound of raised voices, and the whirr of bulldozers coming to life. The area where they lived, would be demolished to make way for commercial construction. Buses waited in the periphery to relocate hundreds of men, women and children to their new homes, thirty minutes south. No warning. No voice.  

Once settled, many women began work in the rock quarry. Most had children; some parented alone, because their husbands refused to get on the bus, and were left behind. Women laboured ten hours a day, six or seven days a week. Men carved basalt out of the hillside with chisels and picks; the women carried the rocks down a worn foot path, over their heads, to the breaking station; they passed the heavy rocks overhead to one another, creating a human conveyor-belt; and they loaded wheelbarrows with smaller rocks or gravel, and pushed them over to the waiting trucks. 

The procession was ceaseless.

They dressed in layers of clothing and wore large straw hats to protect them from the sun. Most had a cloth tied around their mouth and nose to limit the exposure to fine dust and dark smoke. Their honey-brown skin turned muddy grey. 

They earned a dollar a day; barely enough to support their families. 

Canadian Humanitarian came to Kality in 2006 to support a local group providing kindergarten education to the young children. 

***

 Joy is fundamental to healthy living. I’m not sure where those women find joy in their lives. It is hard to imagine. 

A few years ago, I participated in a book study with fellow moms, led by an astute psychologist. The book, The Gifts of Imperfection, was a life-changer for me. According to author/researcher Brené Brown, “In our developed world, we have forgotten the basics of Joy”. 

Hope, faith and love are byproducts of joy. But according to Brown, joy is intricately linked to gratitude. You cannot simply cultivate joy, and find that it blooms on its own. Further, Brown says, gratitude is not an attitude: “An attitude is an orientation or way of thinking and […] doesn’t always translate to a behaviour.” 

The difficulty I have, is looking at gratitude, joy and happiness in environments of abundance versus scarcity. During each trip to Ethiopia I came into contact with more grateful individuals than not. Hope was a bubble that managed to stay afloat, despite the circumstances. And yet, compared to me, they had so little. 

There is something about living in an abundant community that leads one down the mis-aligned path of wanting more. Gretchen Rubin examined gratitude, in “The Happiness Project”. She found that, “Gratitude brings freedom from envy, because when you’re grateful for what you have, you’re not consumed with wanting something different or something more.” That sounds like joy to me.

I have much to be grateful for, but there are times when I find the abundant nature of my living to be a burden. Just like the procession of women in the quarry, I feel like I am on a conveyor belt and have little choice. But, that’s not true. Is it? Women all over the world carry sizeable rocks. However, some of the stones are of our own choosing, and we are free to set them down. Not everyone experiences this freedom; it is a gift, and I want to be thankful for it. 

“One Looney Idea” has limited my access to joy in some areas of my life. For example: there is no home decorating going on; I have (mostly) chosen to say no to dining out; I choose not to purchase and consume wine, and I decided not to play drop-in soccer—for the moment. However, because of my one-loonie-a-day spending, I can step out of the privileged life I lead, press pause, think of others, and be intentional. The question I keep asking myself and my kids is: 

Is this something we need or want? 

It reminds me that when you have less, you approach your daily living in a different way. The eye stops wandering toward things that are not accessible. 

The women that I observed in the rock quarry likely felt tired, and occasionally sad. But I know they did not feel sorry for themselves. 

The hopeful attitudes I witnessed in Ethiopia inspire me. I’ve learned that happiness and joy are not the same thing. In Gifts, Brown says, “Happiness is attached to external situations and events and seems to ebb and flow as those circumstances come and go. Joy seems to be constantly tethered to our hearts by spirit and gratitude.” This is why people in impoverished countries appear happy, they are grateful, and therefore have a joyful heart. That is what we see, in them.