One Looney Idea - Day Seventy-five

Una Idea Loca

I am not gonna lie…neither Ward nor I thought much of Fraser and Chelsea’s idea of  a “destination wedding”. It seemed like a lot of work to pack a bunch of people off to Mexico. It felt like an extravagant indulgence. Do we sound old? Originally, only Ward was going to go; the cost left us shuddering. And yet, I couldn’t miss it. It started to feel like a great opportunity for a family reunion, a chance to celebrate all five of our kids, over the event of Fraser’s wedding ceremony. And I knew that once Ward arrived, he would wish we had all come. So, here we are. 

As I prepared our family to go to Mexico, I continuously confronted decisions around spending. Clearly we needed sunscreen and bathing suits, but did we need lip balm, nail polish, flip flops—and an extensive kit of pharmaceuticals? I prepare for “just in case”, partially because that is who I am, but also because I CAN. Having a “back-up” bank account makes the entire Loonie Idea seem fraudulent.  The financial misdemeanours will not cost me. As I attempt to create change through my circle of influence, I am stymied to know if it is even possible.

Over the past seventy days, I have been creating new habits—based on thoughtful spending. My chief tactic has been to avoid places where I spend money—coffee shops, Canadian Tire, drugstores, and malls—as well as plan ahead, so that I have food with me when I am going to be away from home for extended periods. However, the two weeks leading up to our trip, I spent an inordinate amount of time shopping for things we needed for the trip, and I know I bought things that we didn’t need, but wanted—fuchsia nail polish to match my dress for the wedding. (Funny thing: Now that I am in Mexico, I can’t be bothered to interrupt the holiday and merry-making to paint my toenails. No one is going to be concerned with my toes.) But, being out in the spending sphere again, affected me. I found myself putting things into my basket reflexively. Shopping took twice as long because I constantly had to circle back and return things back to the shelves—it was like shopping with a merchandise-grabbing toddler. I also felt weak, when I couldn’t resist, and then remorse when I brought something home that didn’t fit the principle I had established for myself in this Looney Year. 

People say, “It’s okay—there are always exceptions to the rule.” 

True. 

False. 

I started a music class last fall. My piano teacher told me to learn the song, “Fly”, and feel out the timing of it myself; she told me that this particular composer allows great freedom with his compositions. In piano, mathematic in nature, it can be alright to interpret the rhythm, and change it to suit the artist who is playing the piece. This makes sense to me. 

Our daughter Faven constantly argues with us about her curfew. She disagrees vehemently with the rule that says: one minute past curfew is considered late. However, if we do not have a rigid rule around curfew, she becomes confused. If it is okay to be one minute late, then it is okay to be five, and then fifteen and then an hour late. 
The line in the sand becomes a figment of the tide.   

When one allows themselves to create sub-rules—also known as justifications—the water becomes muddy. Each exception dominoes into the next. The exceptions evolve the rule, and the rule becomes the exception. Try as hard as you can, but don’t worry if you can’t do it. The world doesn’t work like that. Natural consequences will show up…eventually. 

The wedding day—magnifico! Several challenges occurred through the week, but when the day dawned, all that was yesterday, fell away. Chelsea, a stunning bride, arrived at the beach in a golf cart; the gentle breeze caused her veil to dance behind her like a fluid feather composing a love song. Fraser, stared straight out to the calm, azure-blue ocean, instructed not to look at his bride until she stood in the archway of a Mayan thatched hut at the edge of the beach. He turned at the same moment that she put her bedazzled sandal onto the white sand. She walked toward Fraser, accompanied by her mom and dad. Each caught the eye of the other, and steadied within the others’ adoring gaze. The place, the words, the thirty gathered friends and family—all splendid. 

This exception to the rule, resulted in a holiday for our family, and a connection to a life event of two very important people, and we feel so blessed.

Our Five Kids: We couldn't be more proud! :)